


The Reason is You

by CanIHazJohnlock



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M, Gen, In World AU, Initiation, dauntless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1192347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanIHazJohnlock/pseuds/CanIHazJohnlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric is a leader of Dauntless who's never felt anything for anyone before. Tris is the person who changes all of that. Eric sees in her something he's always been missing, true bravery. Can he overcome his place as a villain in his story to keep what truly matters to him? Or will it be too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Training Day

Dauntless

Not really a description, more a way of life. But I guess that's how I'd describe her.

Tris first arrived with the other initiates. I didn't bother to give her a second glance when she came. Overall she looked unimpressive, plain, and proper. None of these screamed Dauntless. I do have a right to judge the Dauntless in someone. My name is Eric and I am one of the elected leaders of my faction. Each piercing, each tattoo, each glare I had specifically designed to break away from myself. The initiates were scared, terrified, some even looked at me like I was the thing from their nightmares. But I wasn't angry, I thrived on their terror. I held their lives in my hands and it made me their God. They all bowed before me like some God, but then there was her. It wasn't fear in her eyes. It was hatred. You know hatred and love are actually a very similar emotion. Both so filled with passion and desperation. Back to the point though, this confession is supposed to justify my hatred. My trial, my confession, start with her.

Initiation Day

"You chose us, and now we choose you."

You could feel the air split and the tensions rise. The majority of it leaking from the transfers.

"You will be trained separately, transfers will learn basics while Dauntless borns will advance their training. We will have 3 rounds of training, but in the end only 10 of you will become Dauntless."

The shock and despair was delicious to absorb, their cries and gasps causing me to let out a laugh. It was loud and drawn out, just the kind of laugh I knew they feared. I'd practiced it after being chosen a leader. But then again, my purpose was much more than they knew.

"The first round will be physical. Dauntless born are to be trained by Lauren, and the transfers are to be trained by Four."

I spit out his name like acid. He was nothing but an un talented coward. During our initiation, he ranked higher than me in the end. I was second best. With him here I would always be second best. But I was the leader, not him. Which meant that I had much more power to abuse.

"Now I will not be instructing, but I will be watching very closely. Especially to the transfers. That said, let's get to work."

I turned my back and left them, thinking nothing of any of them.

It wasn't until the second round of fights that I noticed her. She was so small, so weak, so unskilled. I was sure she wouldn't last the first round, but then she fought Molly. Molly was a big girl, likely having half a foot and 50 pounds on Tris. But what I saw Tris do was the most well fought fight I'd ever seen from a girl her size. She took Molly down quickly, using her small center of balance and speed to capitalize on her opponents weaknesses. Until then I had been so sure she could never be Dauntless, now I knew. She would be.

After the fight was over, I smiled and began clapping. She looked over at me and hatred burned her eyes. I had never seen such rage coming from an Abnegation before. But then again she did transfer to Dauntless. She intrigued me, to my roots as an erudite. My mind studied her, eager to collect more data and learn more. I had to keep myself alert when this happened. In Dauntless, loyalty to your faction is the only thing that matters.

After their session was over, and they were meant to have some free time, I pulled Tris aside. "Nice fighting out there Stiff. How'd it feel to get your first taste of blood?"

She regarded me like something she was forced to eat, yet couldn't bear to swallow. I could see in her eyes what I looked like. A monster.

"I'm just doing what it takes to become a true Dauntless." There was a fire in her words, and yet even with her hate there was an under set of fear.

"How about you stay for a bit of extra training."

"That wouldn't be fair to the other initiates, so no thank you." I frowned at her, the politeness she was raised with as a stiff starting to creep in.

"How about I phrase it this way? I'm in charge and you're not leaving until I say you can." I stepped closer, and there was a wall behind her that kept her from moving. I was so close, she looked away. She had a tattoo on her collarbone, 3 birds flying. I wondered what it meant to her.

"Get on the mat." I ordered, moving aside to let her through. Gentleness was never my strong suit, but then again fighting isn't hers either.

"The first thing you should be able to do in a fight is distinguish your opponents weaknesses. Analyze me. What should be my weaknesses?"

She thought about it, her eyebrow picking up as she contemplated. "Well you're taller and bigger than me, so you have a higher center of gravity to utilize."

I nodded, making a rolling motion with my hands to show her to go on.

"That's all I see." She conceded, a blush running through her pale cheeks. It was something I was not accustomed to seeing in this place.

"I'll tell you what I see then." I began circling her to get a good look. "You're not very muscular so your punches can't deal a substantial amount of damage. You have weak knees that sometimes shake when you walk. Being smaller and thinner, Id have to be careful of your speed. All in all, you could prove to be a very fierce opponent with some training."

She smirked, beginning to say thanks before clearing her throat. "What should I have seen in you?"

"Well you were right about size and weight, and my center of gravity. There's also my piercings. If the fight got really bloody you could rip one out. But your most substantial advantage, is the fact that you're beautiful." I reached out my hand to touch her face and she jerked away in surprise.

"Shall we fight then?" She asked, her voice cracking as she addressed me, not looking me in the eyes.

"Yes, but I won't hurt you. That's the job of the other initiates. Well start with blocking. If I go to punch your jaw, where do you put your hands to block?" She raised her hands to her face and I sighed.

"To protect yourself from a punch, you have to catch their forearm with your forearm, give them no chance to recover the speed they had."

I swung slowly at her, and nodded when she blocked me.

"Now what about lower hits like your stomach or side?"

She placed her hands awkwardly in front of her, folding them together.

"No, the only way to block direct hits below is to move out of their way. When you punch lower, your center of gravity is lower which provides your opponent with a chance to avoid and knock you down."

I went to punch her stomach, but she jumped out of the way trying to kick my legs out from underneath me. She lost her balance trying and fell.

"Another thing," I said, helping her up, "if you're gonna try and get someone on the ground from a kick, aim for the knees. For example."

I stretched out my leg, twisted, and aimed for her right knee. She wasn't ready for it, so she fell to the ground. Her arm grabbed a handful of my shirt before she hit the ground, and I fell with her. She was underneath me, and I could feel her hot breath against my face. She was excited, but that same blush creeped up on me. She was beautiful like this, her heart racing, her instincts kicking in.

"There's always that too." I argued, clearing my throat and standing up. I raised out a hand to help her up.

She took it cautiously, and wiped herself off.

"You can go hang out with your friends now. You've made progress."

"Thanks." She muttered, running towards the exit.

That was the first time my heart beat strangely and Tris found her way into my head.


	2. Watch Me

Tris was making steady progress, and I couldn’t help but smile when she won her fight against Myra. 

I played it off with a cough, but Four glared at me all the same. I glared back but he had turned his attention to the initiates. 

After the day was over and the initiates were allowed some free time, but I grabbed Tris and offered more training.

“You were better in your fight today, but you’re still sloppy and off balance.” 

She scoffed at me and rolled her eyes. It was like a fire inside of her to be the best. Sometimes it seemed that she did well out of spite.

Today she looked at me like I was a viper, ready to bite. “Is this about Christina?”

She turned away and started for the door, but I was not having the silent treatment from an initiate. I grabbed her arm and she tried to counter, but I was too strong. I had to punish Christina for giving up on her fight. If I hadn’t I would look weak, and that is something I refuse to do.

“Let me go!” she demanded, an angry flush grazing her cheeks. 

“You have to see it like I do.” 

“See what? Your sadistic need to hurt us and push us to our break?”

“I knew Christina could do it, and if I hadn't punished her it would’ve made me look weak.”

“And if she couldn’t do it? You looked cruel, and I had hoped…” She trailed off, but I could sense her angry dropping.

“Hoped what? That I was some fluffy bunny and rainbow loving guy who just wanted the best for everyone? I’m Dauntless, and it is my duty to make sure that Dauntless is full of brave and strong initiates. Giving in was a sign of cowardice, bravery is all that matters to Dauntless.”

I took a deep breath and tried to lower my temper. She was just a naïve Stiff, coming from selflessness and humility must make it difficult for her to see me as anything but cruel.

“Tris, if you want to be Dauntless, you need to understand this faction is ruthless, cruel, and exhausting. Every moment of your life is lived in the face of fear. It’s how the Dauntless feel alive.”

“Does it need to be like that? Bullying the initiates is a sign of cowardice.”

“But training them isn’t. What about when you’re in an actual fight? Do you just hold out your hand and give in? When people’s lives are on the line? Is it brave then to give up?”

My point hit her and it had the same reaction as if I had slapped her.

“You’re right, but did you have to be so cruel.”

“Cruelty and bravery are often confused, but maybe I did go a little overboard about Christina.”

It was then that I realized I was still holding her arm. I let go, moving towards the punching bags hanging in the middle of the room.

“Where do you aim when you are facing an opponent to incapacitate them?”

She looked at the target and took a deep breath, launching herself at the sides and head of the human outline. 

I pushed her shoulder, and she lost her balance. A curse I didn’t think Stiffs knew escaped her and I began to laugh.

“You caught me off guard, it won’t happen again.” I nodded, trying to contain my laughing.

“Where’d a Stiff learn a word like that?”

“I was around Dauntless before in school, they used to always yell everything. Maybe I paid a little too much attention. I wasn't a very good member of Abnegation.”

I placed my hand on her stomach. “Keep a tightness here or you’ll easily get thrown off balance.”

She seemed to hesitate, even for a moment. This time she wasn’t holding anything back as she lashed forward and hit her marks.

I went to once again throw her off, but she was expecting me this time, catching me off guard. Its not easy to catch me off guard, but when this little girl flipped me on my back, I’ll admit I was very surprised.

“Nice job Stif…Tris.”

She gleamed with victory as she looked at me. It was a beautiful site to see. That fire in her eyes was her best quality.

“Never underestimate my learning curve.” She joked, offering me a hand. I took it and popped up. She hadn't hit me hard, but it was a start.

“I’ll make sure to not underestimate you.” I added, with the tiniest bit of a smile. She was intriguing for a Stiff, and had made so much progress so quickly.

“Let’s move on to aggressive defense. How to use your enemy’s attacks against them.”

I moved back towards the training mats. “I want you to hit me, choose anywhere you like.”

She didn’t take too much convincing, and she prepared herself. From her stance and where she was looking, I could tell she was going to try for my left side.

I blocked her fist with my forearm and moved my other arm to her stomach. I placed my fist where it would’ve made contact.

“What does this tell you?”

She looked down and seemed to struggle to find an answer. My last little quiz must’ve frustrated her so she was trying very hard to get it right.

“I left myself vulnerable on one side by focusing my entire body to my attack.”

I nodded, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “Yep, as long as your attacker is focused on one single area of their attack, you can utilize that vulnerability to land a blow.”

Her eyes perked up for a moment, then she tried her best to hide a smile.

"What?" I asked, her grin bringing in some curiosity.

She stepped closer, arms at her sides. "Do you remember when you first pulled me aside? You told me what my advantages were. What were they again?"

I swallowed hard as she stepped closer. There was not much room between us. My answer came out shakily. 

"I told you you were smaller, faster, and had a low center of gravity."

Closing the gap, she brought the corners of her lips to a point. A smirk replaced her grin. "Anything else?"

I thought and then remembered, a blush...a goddamn blush...coming to my cheeks. It hadn't meant anything, but suddenly with her this close it flustered me.

"And that you're beautiful."

With that, she leaned up as if to kiss me. Before our lips could touch, she moved her arm and punched me hard in the side. I lost my balance and stumbled into a wall.

"Did I do that right?" She asked, her lips turned up in a huge smile accompanied by a girly laugh.

I just nodded, regaining my stance.

"Nice little trick there Stiff. I'd say that's enough training for today."

She turned on her heels and walked with a new sort of pep in her step. I couldn't help but stare after her.

There was something about her that I couldn't quite place, but I knew that she was amazing.

I had a meeting with the glorious leader, so I had to shower and head over to the Erudite headquarters.

It wasn't until I began discussing the transfer initiates that things got interesting. 

"So you don't see anyone that stands out as divergent?"

She questioned, looking at me with that cruel calculating stare she has.

"No, no one I can notice but then again they can be very good at hiding it."

She sat on the edge of her desk and looked over her figures.

"Beatrice Prior. Do you know her?"

"Is she an initiate?" I asked, looking over at her as she started a projection with Tris's picture.

"Oh. Tris..."

I left her name to hang in the air.

"You have a new assignment. Watch this girl. Her test results were put in manually, she could be one of them. Your job is simple. Romance her. Get her to trust you completely. Find out if she is Divergent, and bring her to me."

I grimaced, glaring at the file she handed me. "And if she's not divergent?"

"Throw her away and return to your original mission. With the plan being so close to completion, finding as many divergent as possible are primary. Tris is the most suspicious. She must be watched."

She finished with a dismissive tone a and I knew arguing was impossible. 

"As always, it's nice to see you." I spat, leaving her office in anger.

She had been the reason I became Dauntless in the first place. Now she had something on me and I couldn't escape. For now, I had to do what she ordered. For now, I had to make Tris mine.


	3. Date Prep

"Tris," I called, waiting to congratulate her. She had just won a fight against Molly, and although it wasn't much, it bumped her up past the line of who becomes factionless. 

She turned towards me, her blonde eyes full of rage still. "Woah there, you might kill someone like that."

She looked confused for a second then smiled at me. "Thanks for your help. I wasn't sure I would've been able to beat her without your sessions."

I was waiting for a snide remark or a tone of sarcasm, but she seemed genuine. I didn't know how to respond to that. Gratitude is not that common in Dauntless.

"No problem. I was a transfer too when I came 2 years ago. I know how difficult it can be to adapt."

That was a true enough statement. When I arrived, I realized that my pent up rage was more of a skill than baggage. In my first fight, I broke 3 of my opponents ribs and their nose. 

It wasn't until Four beat me later on I even realized how savage my fighting was. Still, having that Stiff bastard place above me is something I'll never forget. 

I was always second best in Erudite and now in Dauntless I will always be second best. Thanks to him.

I must've made a fist while I was thinking because the next thing that I noticed was Tris's petite fingers on my forearm.

"Eric are you okay?"

She looked at me with real concern and I nodded.

Jeanine's words echoed in the back of my mind, a command I couldn't obey.

"As congratulations for winning your fight, how about I treat you to dinner tonight? Since it's the end of the first round of training, there's some free time."

She hesitated in answering, a confusion and nervousness planting itself as her expression.

"I would... Wouldn't that be... Is it allowed?"

"Yep. I'm in charge and so anything I say goes. Besides you guys could use a break."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest when she said yes and for a moment I thought I had a small coronary. 

"I'll pick you up outside the dorm at 8."

Then I walked away. I cursed myself under my breath for letting myself be manipulated by Jeanine, but then Four began to close in.

"Eric." He addressed me with a vicious anger I'd never seen from him before.

"Yes princess? I know you like to think that I have time for all the little people but I've got a faction to run."

We had reached the control room door by now, but Four was blocking my exit. We were pretty evenly matched, but I knew he would take me in a fight.

"What were you doing with Tris?" He asked, trying to hide his obvious concern. If I didn't hate him so much I would've been touched.

"Nothing much. Why?" I asked, watching him squirm with my lack of answers.

"Eric. I know what you're planning, but Tris is not like that. Abnegation don't treat romance like Dauntless do."

His choice of word in romance caused me to laugh.

"Is Four a bit jealous? What? Mad I got to her first?" He looked violent in that moment, but he seemed to remember who I was and where we were.

"I know you have a thing for this girl, and I feel for you. Actually that's a lie, the fact you like her just gives me more incentive. Now I don't see any reason that two adults can't go have a chat over dinner."

"Eric. This isn't a game. She's not a toy to play with. If you're only doing this to get back at me then just leave her alone."

"And what if I have sincere feelings for her?"

"You don't know how to feel." He spat, trying to put all his frustration and anger into his words.

"Yes well, I'll take that into account, now get out of my way. I have a date to get ready for." I have to admit, watching my actions crawl under his skin and make a little home was giving me immense satisfaction, but this was work just as much as it was fun.

He moved to the side, temporarily but not entirely defeated. As I walked past him, he took my arm and whispered, "If you hurt her I will kill you."

It was almost enough to make me feel bad for the guy. He was in love with her and she was going on a date with his nemesis. I did stress the almost right?

After a couple of meetings and a phone call to Jeanine about my progress, I went to my apartment to get changed.

A shower later, I found myself examining my shoulder length hair. I hadn't cut it since becoming a dauntless, but now it seemed a rather pointless rebellion.

I picked up the phone near my bed and dialed a number. "Hey Milo. No it's Eric. Yes, I know Ive been very busy making sure the world works right. You still cut hair? Yeah, it's getting a little annoying. How soon can you be here? Great! See you in 10 minutes."

I put on a pair of black distressed jeans and a dark red button down before hearing a knock on my door. I opened it and in walked Milo. 

He was tall with a sleeve of tattoos on his right arm and the word dauntless across his collar. 

"How much we talking? I've been begging you to let me cut it for years."

I just shrugged, telling him to do what he thought would look good and not get in the way. Since my hair was already wet, it was easy. It only took about 15 minutes to get done, and when it was done I almost didn't recognize myself. 

"I figured I'd give you something powerful but functional." He remarked, handing me a hand mirror. 

It was short, almost shaved on the sides. On top was a kind of faux hawk that I liked. "Nice job Milo. Now I can show off my neck tattoos a little more."

"Thanks. But I know what's going on. You didn't just spontaneously want a cut. You have a date. Now I'm not gonna pry, but if you have a date that you're willing to cut your hair for. I'd say take out about 20 or so piercings. Leave the two on your eyebrow. That way you still look like you don't give a shit, but you also can see your face."

I didn't ask how he knew, just thanking him again. He had another appointment so he had to leave and I thought about what he had said. 

In the mirror I saw myself. Well not really myself. The myself I'd created at Dauntless.

Part of the reason I got all those piercings was to hide. I guess he was right. It didn't take long to take out all my piercings except the two eyebrow ones.

In total there were 16 I'd taken out. 1 for every year I'd spent in that hell hole I called a home. My eyebrow piercings were from when I was initiated and when I was chosen a Dauntless leader. They served to remind me who I really served. 

At 7:50 I began my walk to the transfer dorms and knocked on the door.

"Eric?" I was asked by a confused Christina. "You're Tris's mystery date?"

She regarded me with fear I could only expect from someone I had forced to hang over the chasm. I knew she wouldn't believe me if I said I had no intention of letting her fall.

"Yes, I'm here to pick her up now if that's alright with you." I meant it jokingly, but she seemed to take it as a move of authority.

"It's okay Christina, I'm ready. I'll meet you and Will later in the tattoo parlor."

She stepped out then, and all my other thoughts seemed to run for cover. She wore a tight black dress that, while modest, certainly didn't do her any shame.

"Wow." I muttered, sounding stupid in response to her beauty.

She really did look really gorgeous. It made me feel even more guilty about having other intentions.

"Let's go then." I finally managed, motioning for her to follow me. Of all my experiences as a spy for Jeanine, this was going to be the most difficult assignment of all,

Well I'll tell you the rest next time, as it was quite an interesting evening.


	4. Date Night

We arrived at the restaurant and there was a moment of silence.

Her eyes shuffled around, not quite looking at anything.

"Nervous?" I asked, trying to hide my nerves. This was a mission, I reminded myself. I couldn't afford to mess this up. Jeanine had too much dirt on me.

"It's just, in abnegation we never...well I was never asked out." The bashful and embarrassed smile she wore was something I was not accustomed to seeing after having spent 2 years in Dauntless.

"Its okay. I knew coming into this that it would be a completely new experience for you. To be honest.." I began, leaning in closer to whisper, "It's pretty new to me too."

Her large eyes seemed to stare at me in confusion. "I thought…" She began, losing her words as I caught her eye.

"Yeah, my prospects were never really that great, being the kind of guy I am." But she would never know how cruel I was.

Before I got this assignment from Jeanine, I was set on being a member of Dauntless. I was so excited to finally be able to protect people. People who had no one else to protect them, people like my mom.

I suppose I can't hide this anymore. It was the reason I was in this mess after all. No one in the world except Jeanine knows this.

When I was 12, my father got very drunk. Now getting drunk was no new thing for him, it was almost a daily occurrence in my house, but this time was different.

This time, he had been working on a new project in his lab and the results hadn't been favorable. The same day, it happened, that my mother had her first successful trial of her new simulation serum.

He was outraged by her success and his failure. He began to beat her and well, he knocked her unconscious. It looked like he would've killed her.

Me being the 12 year old I was tried my best to fight back. That's when he grabbed me. Even now in my life I have never seen such blind rage in someone's eyes. I guess if there is one thing I inherited from my father, it was his temper.

Long story short, I ended up hitting my father over the back of the head with a lamp and he dropped. I didn't know if he was dead or alive. I crawled over to my mother but she wasn't breathing.

Overwhelmed, alone, and bloody, I went next door to Jeanine's house. She saw me and immediately went into action. You may not know this, but she had studied to become a doctor before being chosen to be a leader.

I should've known when she didn't call the Dauntless right away that something was up. She examined my mother first and then my father and pronounced my mother barely alive and my father dead.

I knew the laws of the city very well and I knew that there was only two ways I'd come out of this: factionless or dead.

Jeanine put her arm around me and promised me that everything would be alright. That I'd be fine. The next day, my mother died.

She had arranged for the deaths to be recorded as casualties of a car crash.

Fast forward to 4 years later, a week before I took my test, Jeanine called me into her office.

"You know that you owe me your life. Well now is the time for you to fill your end of the deal."

I had murdered my father and what was there to do but listen to the only other person who knew my dark secret.

I could've betray Jeanine, but what good would that do me? There would be an article out the next day detailing my murderous past. I would be tried by Candor and found guilty. All I would be was a murderer.

She implanted me with a serum patch before my first day of initiation and told me it was just a safe measure. So if I ever decided to betray her, she could use me as a slave without my consent. Needless to say I think I've been a very good doggy.

Back to the date, I've bored you enough with reasons you may or may believe.

After we ordered food, her mood seemed to lighten a bit. "You're doing well in training. Considering where you began, you've made excellent progress."

She thanked me quietly, and I assumed she was a little unwilling to discuss training.

"So do you have a favorite food?" I asked, myself searching for something to fill the awkward silence.

"In abnegation, we never really got to have tasty food so I guess the chocolate cake they served the first day after initiation."

I knew just which cake she had been referring to, as that was one of my favorites as well.

"You barely know me except for I expect stories and rumors you've heard, so how about we spend some time actually getting to know each other.

She nodded, as our food came.

"Is your name really Eric?"

That was a strange question to begin with, but nonetheless I answered.

"No."

I stopped there, seeing an expectant frown starting to creep on her face.

"Is your name really Tris?"

"No."

I gave her the same sour look she was giving me and we both laughed.

"My real name was Beatrice, but she was a scared little girl. Tris is brave."

"Yes Tris is." I agreed. "My middle name was Eric, my first name was Thomas."

"Why'd you change your name? I mean Thomas is a nice name."

"Same reason you did. I didn't like who Thomas had been so I became someone new."

She seemed to accept this, nodding towards me with an understanding glance.

"Tell me three things I should know about you Tris. Any three things you feel that I need to know." I leaned back, taking a bite of the steak I had ordered.

"Well the first is that I never thought I'd leave abnegation, the second is that I am actually very competitive, and the third is that I refuse to let you and the other leaders make me factionless."

That was the first time she had ever grouped me with the other leaders. Her tone wasn't angry, more determined.

"Your turn." She spoke, looking at me expecting my answer.

"Well, I am turning 19 in 3 weeks, my best skill is throwing knives, and I won't let you become factionless either."

Her blush was rather cute; I'm not going to lie. There was something in her smile and her eyes that confused me.

The rest of the evening was much more casual than the first half. We had both lightened up. When dinner was over, we made our way back to the dorms.

She grabbed my hand and I didn't know what to do. It was in this gesture that I was reminded that this whole evening was just a means to an end. I felt a pang of guilt, which was something I hadn't felt since I became Jeanine's lackey.

This whole awkward encounter didn't help me find out anything about her anyway.

Our awkward evening concluded at her door. It wasn't until I was about to leave that I looked at her face again. Her eyes were wide and she was biting her bottom lip, seeming to me indecisive.

Before I could ask her what was wrong, she reached up and kissed me. The funniest part was she must've been on her toes to reach me without me having bent down a little.

After that we said our goodbyes and I left for my apartment. I could still feel her lips against mine and my heart was beating fast.

I was letting this stupid girl get to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it seems a bit rushed at the end, I just wanted to get you guys a new chapter.


	5. Villain's Choice

I'll jump ahead now, because honestly the next part was a bit boring. I distanced myself from her for a few days, deciding to go on a review of the troops throughout the city.

She was getting to me and whenever I saw her there was this weird pain in my chest. I was becoming hyper actively aware of her, of every part of her.

I began to notice the way her hair moved when she put particular force behind a kick. She was getting extremely good at shooting a gun and always interlocked her fingers on the handle.

It was pathetic how distracted I would get. Messing with Four wasn't even fun anymore. The stupid asshole was sulking and nursing his wounds.

The weekly update with Jeanine wasn't going anywhere. I hadn't made any progress with Tris. The physical training hadn't helped me find out if she was Divergent. I simply told her I'd have to wait until the mental training.

If she was divergent, that's when I'd find out. I had my suspicions, but there'd be no way to hide it in her head.

After I got back, I didn't see her that much. Only after I got back did I find out that four was to be Tris's tester.

I avoided the results, the first day of training. Choosing to give her some more time. I knew in my head that she was Divergent. It was extremely odd to have a result out in manually for a test.

It may have been my new sentiment towards her, but somehow I didn't buy Jeanine's whole Divergent witch hunt. Tris wasn't trying to take down the system. She was trying to survive.

Occupying myself, I got a new tattoo. This time on the right side of my left ankle. It was a Dauntless flame. I don't know why I hadn't gotten it before but I guess I'd just never felt like I belonged. 

Dauntless was not my choice. Erudite was not my choice. My job was not my choice. My life was not my choice. And now I wanted to choose.

I guess that's what makes me so dangerous. I have been controlled and manipulated my whole life. Dogs are the most dangerous when they're in chains. Once they're let loose they're out for blood.

On my way back from the tattoo parlor, I saw some shadows moving in the pit and went to check it out. They were too quiet to not be up to something.

I was about to yell at them to see what they were doing when Four started out running. He collided with the shapes in the distance and that's when I saw a fourth shadow with that long hair pulled back into a ponytail.

I sprinted towards her before I even knew I was moving. Tris had to be alright. She had to be okay, she was strong. She was Tris.

While Four was busy fighting off her attackers, I grabbed her and started to take her to the infirmary. Nothing was broken but she was beaten up really bad. Her face was red because of her torn lips and a cut on her eyebrow. She'd have a decent black eye too.

I heard footsteps behind me and tensed for a fight.

"It's just me." Four said with an annoyance in his voice.

I turned to see him illuminated by the green lights on the walls. Of course that stupid bastard came away from a 3 on 1 fight unscathed. 

"Give her to me." I almost laughed at his authoritative tone.

"Look I don't have time for this now Four. She's hurt." I began to step away, but he wasn't giving up.

"How do you think she'll feel about you when she finds out you're working for Jeanine?" I wish I could, recreate the face I made at him because I'm pretty sure my glare was so strong I almost shot lasers out of my eyes.

"How do you...." I began, approaching him.

"What does it matter? I know. And you working for Jeanine. Tsk tsk tsk. How do you think she'll react to that?"

"What're you saying?"

"You give up on Tris. Or I tell her and she gives up on you."

"I thought you were above blackmail."

"I thought you weren't a glorified police dog."

Oh how I wanted a knife. I could've just stabbed him and been done. 

Tris stirred the slightest bit and uttered a single word. In a moment I handed her over to him. Turning my back on them. I didn't know what had happened while I was gone, but she had made her choice.

Hearing his name spill out of her unconscious mouth hurt me more than I ever could have expected.

Unconscious, injured, and vulnerable, she had called for him. She had muttered his name in her fucking sleep. I knew my place. I'm the villain.

The villain doesn't get the girl. The villain doesn't get to be happy. Well Four gets to be the hero, so I guess it's my turn to play the villain.

This was the moment I decided. I had been so happy. I had thought that maybe she would be the one to make changing worth it.

Four ruins everything. I couldn't be the best in training. I couldn't be the best liked or the most handsome. And I couldn't be the man for Tris. I vowed then and there that I would make Four pay for what he had taken from me. After all what better motivation is there than love and hate?

I got back to my apartment and picked up the phone.

"Jeanine. How quickly can we initiate the plan?"

"Eric? Do you have any idea what time it is? Wait what did you say?"

"How quickly can we initiate the plan?"

"Why the sudden necessity? The serum requires careful calculations. At earliest, we can be ready by the initiation."

"I'll have everything prepared."

"Did you find any Divergents? What about this Tris girl?"

It took me a moment to answer, "No. She's no divergent. She's just trying to get by. Any Divergents will show themselves when time comes."

"Well. I guess it will do. Goodbye Eric."

"Goodbye Jeanine."

When I hung up, I looked at my calendar that hung on my wall. Only 5 days until I could get rid of him forever.

Time for the villain to step forward.


	6. Apologies

So people ask me why I made the decisions I made, but very few know about the most important ones. 

After the last bit of training, Tris came to find me. It wasn't easy for her to do so either. Normally if I didn't want to be found, I couldn't be. 

She somehow got an access key to my room which, I must admit, did have me a bit impressed. 

"Eric, we have to talk." At first I couldn't believe that she was there. Why would she go to such lengths to see me? She has Four, what else could she possibly need?

"Talk away initiate." I said, coldly. She seemed surprised by the tone in my voice.

"I haven't seen you in days. After our date..." She cut herself off, letting her words drift into the space between us.

"After our date, you got friendly with Four. You don't have to tell me anything, so if you came here to try to justify choosing him over me, don't bother." My tone surprised both of us that time. I sounded almost as bitter as Jeanine.

"But Eric, that's not it." She put her small hand on my arm and looked at me. I don't know what it was about her stupid eyes but I couldn't look away.

"Then what is it Tris?" That caught her. She started to speak but then closed her lips. Trying desperately to cover up a secret I already knew.

"I can't tell you." She spoke softly, a broken look in her eyes.

"Oh but you can tell the boy wonder." Okay so I might've been overly bitter about it being Four.

"It's just something that no one can know. Not even the boy I like." I got ready to scold her, but then her words set in.

"I thought since..." I moved closer to her, not understanding.

"Four found out on his own, but he has promised to keep it a secret. If you promise me on all that you care about, I'll tell you."

"I know Tris."

"No, you need to promise."

"I know that you're Divergent."

The shock in her eyes was evident as I spoke that last word. 

"How did you..." She questioned, moving away from me. 

"It's my job to find people who're divergent and turn them in."

That spurred another step back from me. She looked terrified and for the first time she looked at me like I was something to fear. She put her hands up in a defense position. 

"I won't turn you in Tris. Why do you think you haven't been taken away?" Her defense dropped slowly. 

"If your job is to find people like me, why am I still here? Did you ever even care about me? Or were you trying to find out if I was divergent the whole time?" There was anger and disappointment in her words. 

I closed the distance between us but not before she tried to punch me. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm not a kind of person who has feelings easily. It may have started as a mission, but you have become so much more." I kissed her, a soft and quick kiss. 

"Don't think that I don't care." Our eyes met and there was a moment of fire between us before she pulled me back in for another kiss.

"That's why I've been keeping my distance. You couldn't know Eric, nobody could know." She looked up at me with those big sad eyes and it didn't seem to matter anymore. 

"Look Tris, don't tell anyone. Has Four taught you how to throw them off your scent in the final test?" It hurt to acknowledge that Four was just as informed as I was. 

"Yes, when he took me through his fear landscape he showed me." My blood began to boil. 

"He took you through his landscape?" I growled, not meaning to sound so bitter. 

"Yeah, Eric why? He's helping me." I closed my eyes tight and took a deep breath. 

"I'm just...we have history that you don't know about." I said it with enough conviction and dismissal that she didn't question it.

"Well he told me to just do what a Dauntless would do in certain situations."

"Okay Tris, you're not gonna like this, but I need you to let me come with you into your fear landscape." Her eyes went wide and there was a slight blush on her cheeks.

"Why? I mean I'm sure I can figure it out on my own." She didn't meet my eyes and I wondered if there was something she didn't want me to see. 

"If you're sure, then I guess it'll be fine. If you don't want me going through then maybe describe the situations you're put in. That way you can leave out whatever you don't want me to see."

She looked up to meet my gaze but she was embarrassed at being figured out. There was something she didn't want me seeing and it was not good.

We spent the next hour or so going over her fears and how a Dauntless would react. She was a quick learner, but that was obvious.

After that I sent her on her way. I then began to figure out how to tell Jeanine to cancel the project. 

I wouldn't be able to protect her once the project moved forward. If I couldn't get Jeanine to cancel it there was nothing more I could do. She world hate me and that would be that. 

An hour of arguing with Jeanine and I realized that I had screwed up my only chance. There was nothing that could change her mind. 

Come initiation Tris, and the rest of the world, would hate me. So I made a choice.

I chose to love Tris as much as I could in the week I had left. I should've realized from the beginning, villains don't get the girl or the happy ending. Next time I'll tell you how I spent my last week with her. 

Next time.


	7. Execution

A week seemed like such a long time, but this week seemed to escape me. Tris and I spent most of our time together. 

I didn’t care anymore whether or not people thought she was getting special treatment. In a few hours, she would hate me more than anyone she had ever known.

It was initiation day. The training had ended, and now the 10 top initiates would become Dauntless.

Tris had made it. No surprise to anyone, and to the annoyance of Peter. She had grown stronger since she got here. She even seemed to belong here, like she was raised dauntless.

In between training sessions, Tris and I would spar and eat. I even took her to a little restaurant in the pit. For Dauntless, it was as fancy as it gets.

We talked for hours, and yet my mind didn’t feel any easier about lying to her. When she found out what I had done, she would hate me. Then she could run off with Four and he could protect her. 

As long as Jeanine had a hold on me, I couldn’t be with her. It was too dangerous for her. I hate Four, but he could keep her safe. He would be able to keep her out of trouble.  
I insisted on planting the chips in the new initiates myself, washing the other dauntless of the guilt once the plan began.

Jeanine insisted I pull Peter aside and ask him to join me. I’ll give her one thing, she sure has good taste for the crazy and brutal.

He was all too pleased to hear my offer.

“So everyone else is gonna be under the control of the serum, but I was chosen to help you.”

The little brat annoyed me, but he was good at what he did. 

“You will be one of a few dauntless who are left awake during this time to round up any and all divergent.” I cut our meeting short, not wanting to see Peter take in the ego boost to his already huge ego.

It was strange that only a few weeks before I considered Peter to be the closest to me in terms of personality. Back in my time as an initiate, I was brutal, ruthless, and uncaring. If this had been any other faction than dauntless I might have been kicked out, made factionless.

But the best thing about dauntless is that we feed off of anger and violence and hatred and yet the best recruit I had ever seen was a teenage girl who refused to fight unless it was necessary. Dauntless, to her, meant more than just mindless violence and stupidity. She saw it as a chance to protect and serve.

I just couldn’t see it like that anymore, not when I’ve seen what Jeanine has in store. All the higher ups knew about the plan and they all agreed to go along with it.  
What we were doing? Oh I knew it was wrong. I knew that it would alienate the only person I cared about from me. But I had no choice. There was no other way. Jeanine would just activate my serum and make me do what she wanted anyway. Either way, people were going to die.

After the initiation, Tris found me in my room.

“Eric, so I’m dauntless now huh.” Tris called, leaning against the doorframe.

“If you ask me, you have been the whole time.” I invited her to sit next to me, leaning against the wall.

“None of the higher ups even guessed that you were divergent. I told them that you were just full of pent up frustration at being abnegation your whole life.” It was easy enough to believe, the abnegation lifestyle is incredibly restrictive. 

“Yeah well, maybe I am full of frustration.” She mocked, fake punching me in the chest.

“So what happens now that I’m initiated?” She asked me, her eyes locking onto mine.

“Well, you choose a job. I think you’d make a good leader.” I teased, placing my arm around her. She snuggled into my touch and the all too familiar pang of guilt acted up in my chest.

“Tris, I want you to know that I really do care about you. Just remember that. Okay?” I asked quietly, my voice almost breaking from the strain.

“I know that. Why do you say?” She looked at me with those big eyes of hers and I just couldn’t hurt her. Not to her face.

“Come on, we have to get to the meeting.” I grabbed her hand and started walking, refusing to make eye contact with her.

The cafeteria was full of every member of dauntless, leaving not much room for everyone. The leaders stood on tables, so I joined them.

“Shall I?” I inquired, looking around for approval.

“Okay then. Listen up new and old dauntless alike. We will be implanting you with a microchip that will help us to locate you in times of emergency. We will begin with the youngest and work our way up. You will get the implant or you will be factionless. The line begins here.”

I stepped down as some Erudite volunteers handed me a gun and a glass vial with a small silver microchip floating in the middle. The line split as more volunteers created lines of their own. I was only 4 or 5 in when Tris came up next.

“Ready for my chip.” She pronounced, her hair bouncing as she moved forward the short distance between us. She struggled to find my eyes, but I refused to meet hers. Turning so that the back of her neck was to me, I pushed her hair aside. The chip took only seconds to implant and then she was gone.

I was grateful after she left, settling into the mechanical rhythm of being a henchman performing the will of a cruel master.

It took almost an hour to implant everyone, by the time we finished it was nearly dinner. The cafeteria cleared as some went off to their jobs, and some went off to hang out with their friends. In a few short hours, some of them will have died, and some of them will be fresh killers.

None of that mattered to me however as I made my way to the only place I could be alone. Tris didn’t come, I waited for her to knock. It was agony waiting, but in the end it was right that she wouldn’t come.

You can all fill in the rest from there. At midnight, the chips activated and here we are. Now what do you want to do?

Four looked at me with a smirk and a glint in his eyes. “You just confessed to orchestrating the plan to murder every member of Abegnation. It is now my duty to execute the criminal for his crimes.”

He raised his gun to my head, placing its cold barrel against my forehead.

“Wait.” Tris demanded, placing a hand on Four’s arm. Even that little touch caused a deep anger to grow.

“Why don’t I remember any of that? Why do I remember a very different story?” She looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time.

“When you were being experimented on, one of the serums had to do with memory functions. One of the scientists owed me a favor. So I made up a story about how boy wonder here came to save the day and how you two fell in love. Doesn’t matter now. None of this bullshit matters. Kill me. I deserve it.”

Tris looked unsure, but I just laughed.

“Just because I spout some story about our forgotten love, you’re going to forget all about my crimes? You really aren’t Dauntless are you?” That got her angry, which is what I needed. I was tired of being a puppet. At least now I know that she’s happy. She will be alright, and that’s all that matters.

“Tris read my crimes back to me before Four shoots me in the head will you?” Her face was plagued by uncertainty, as she bit her bottom lip. A nod from Four sealed the deal as she rambled off a list of fancy words I didn’t care to listen to.

Once again, Four raised his arm and placed the barrel on my forehead. This time there was no interruptions.


End file.
